I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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