He is an equal opportunity slut.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
high people should be assigned attendants
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
