Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
