guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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