Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
