Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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