it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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