come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
