The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
