I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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