just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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