Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
ttyl tear gas
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
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