So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
