The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
