There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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