and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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