Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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