So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
