I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
