can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
