hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
did i just pee glitter
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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