So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
