You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
