some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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