I'm really into asian looking animals
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
