just survived the first fart of the relationship.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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