i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you will always have a special place in my vag
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
