I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just tell him i said nine months
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
