Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
