I could have mohawked her pubes.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
