Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
