that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
