Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
