we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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