Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
