please come you make the beer taste better
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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