I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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