I'm really into asian looking animals
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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