Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Mom said you looked used
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
