I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
