I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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