We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
