i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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