If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
