...so i touched it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
