Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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