Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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