i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
