I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
