i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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