Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.

(612): View more from Minnesota

only room for one pussy in that bed.

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(262): When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy. (612): only room for one pussy in that bed. http://tfl.nu/8gho

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(239): View more from Florida

I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking

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(239): I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/yxe4

Replies (61) Good night (5861) Bad night (891)
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(256): View more from Alabama

We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.

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(256): We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/312f

Replies (43) Good night (6082) Bad night (827)
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(909): View more from California

so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.

(1-909): View more from California

I worship thee.

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(909): so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed. (1-909): I worship thee. http://tfl.nu/jd00

Replies (54) Good night (8334) Bad night (1315)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me

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(978): I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me http://tfl.nu/0njw

Replies (8) Good night (1091) Bad night (4380)
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(917): View more from New York City

She saved the condom from the first time we did it.

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(917): She saved the condom from the first time we did it. http://tfl.nu/b22a

Replies (89) Good night (1928) Bad night (26453)
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(480): View more from Arizona

... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?

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(480): ... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen? http://tfl.nu/sppe

Replies (17) Good night (3539) Bad night (1549)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.

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(803): That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose. http://tfl.nu/x4y6

Replies (7) Good night (1090) Bad night (1705)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.

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(901): Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician. http://tfl.nu/nnrt

Replies (7) Good night (2037) Bad night (658)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?

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(919): Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight? http://tfl.nu/hr5u

Replies (3) Good night (1057) Bad night (470)
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(713): View more from Texas

Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.

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(713): Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair. http://tfl.nu/2yyf

Replies (8) Good night (477) Bad night (1181)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.

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(404): Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become. http://tfl.nu/pcoq

Replies (3) Good night (921) Bad night (324)
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(305): View more from Florida

I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.

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(305): I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob. http://tfl.nu/2wm2

Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (423)
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(563): View more from Iowa

What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me

(1-563): View more from Iowa

You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding

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(563): What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me (1-563): You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding http://tfl.nu/u1iy

Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (345)
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(572): View more from

party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time

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(572): party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time http://tfl.nu/rnou

Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (126)

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