Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
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WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?