Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.

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  (503): She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true. http://tfl.nu/uoge
  Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (1741)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  should I fuck that poor girl

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion

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  (770): should I fuck that poor girl (1-770): no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion http://tfl.nu/i8cj
  Replies (30) Good night (925) Bad night (4954)
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  (474): View more from

  Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.

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  (474): Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now. http://tfl.nu/0awf
  Replies (28) Good night (6662) Bad night (1261)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.

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  (902): Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands. http://tfl.nu/svno
  Replies (16) Good night (3511) Bad night (1539)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light

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  (862): That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light http://tfl.nu/4kbw
  Replies (6) Good night (933) Bad night (2735)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She told me I should be a condom model.

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  (631): She told me I should be a condom model. http://tfl.nu/0ukw
  Replies (14) Good night (7131) Bad night (928)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.

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  (815): She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water. http://tfl.nu/94yr
  Replies (8) Good night (5238) Bad night (1379)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.

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  (203): no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini. http://tfl.nu/ao12
  Replies (15) Good night (1121) Bad night (4693)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just can't deal with that sentence

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  (724): We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion (412): I just can't deal with that sentence http://tfl.nu/b4b0
  Replies (3) Good night (1845) Bad night (699)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.

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  (404): I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers. http://tfl.nu/2ka7
  Replies (1) Good night (1497) Bad night (599)
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  (415): View more from California

  I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.

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  (415): I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong. http://tfl.nu/jmit
  Replies (4) Good night (1996) Bad night (1099)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?

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  (509): In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married? http://tfl.nu/eg0w
  Replies (6) Good night (714) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater

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  (434): You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/8eoi
  Replies (6) Good night (994) Bad night (370)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of

  (212): View more from New York

  fuck you.

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  (615): well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of (212): fuck you. http://tfl.nu/d4hh
  Replies (3) Good night (488) Bad night (776)
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  (550): View more from

  She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?

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  (550): She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit? http://tfl.nu/lv25
  Replies (5) Good night (453) Bad night (176)

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