I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
