do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
