i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize