Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
