battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm both gender and math confused
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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