We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
