everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
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How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
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I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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